When I Lost My Temper as a Parent (and Realized I Was Wrong)
Or: a story about conjunctivitis, eye drops, and the moment I scared my own child.
Parenting has a way of pushing your buttons in places you didn’t even know existed.
This is the story of the first time I completely lost control as a parent – and how fast I understood that what I was doing wasn’t okay.
Not proud of it. But real. And maybe useful.
A Simple Conjunctivitis… or So We Thought
Mike caught conjunctivitis from daycare.
There was an outbreak, kids were falling like dominoes, so honestly, we expected it.
One morning he woke up with:
- red eyes,
- eyelids glued shut,
- that unmistakable “yep, it’s conjunctivitis” look.
We booked an appointment with an ophthalmologist.
The verdict?
✔️ Nothing serious
✔️ Standard conjunctivitis
✔️ Eye drops, 4 times a day, for 7-10 days
Easy, right?
Wrong. Very wrong.
Try Putting Eye Drops in a 2.5-Year-Old
Mike is an amazing kid.
Calm, empathetic, surprisingly cooperative for a 2-year-old toddler.
But he’s still… a toddler.
And putting eye drops in a toddler’s eyes is pure chaos 😅
We tried everything:
- explaining calmly,
- showing him how it works,
- TV distractions,
- music,
- phone,
- holding the eyelid gently,
- counting together.
Every time:
- he agreed,
- the drop approached,
- panic,
- crying,
- moving,
- drops everywhere except the eye.
And this had to happen four times a day.
The Moment I Lost Control
At first, I was patient.
Then tired.
Then frustrated.
And then… I snapped.
I threatened punishment.
I took some toys away.
I raised my voice.
And then I yelled.
Not a small yell.
A real one.
And Mike froze.
For the first time ever, I saw fear on his face.
Not confusion.
Not crying.
Fear.
That moment hit me like a wall.
When You Realize You’ve Become the Problem
The second I saw his face, I knew.
This wasn’t discipline.
This wasn’t education.
This wasn’t parenting.
This was me failing to regulate my own emotions.
So I walked out of the room.
I calmed down.
I replayed the moment in my head.
And I hated it.
I went back, gave him his toys, held him, hugged him, apologized (yes, apologized), and waited until he felt safe again.
Why Yelling Doesn’t Work (Especially at This Age)
Here’s the part we often forget:
A 2-year-old brain is not capable of understanding punishment.
At that age:
- they don’t connect cause and effect like adults,
- they don’t understand threats,
- they don’t learn through fear.
All they learn is:
👉 “The person I trust is scary.”
And that’s on us, not them.
The Solution We Finally Found
After everything calmed down, we tried again.
This time:
- Mike lying down,
- eyes closed,
- one drop placed gently at the corner of the eye.
When he opened his eye, the drop flowed in naturally 💡
No force.
No fear.
No tears.
Problem solved.
Of course… only after a full emotional disaster.
Parenting Lesson: You’ll Get It Right the Second Time
We did the drops for 7 days.
Thought it was over.
It wasn’t.
Conjunctivitis came back.
For Mike.
For Andie.
For me.
But the second time?
We knew exactly what to do.
Calm.
Efficient.
No drama.
Isn’t that how parenting always works?
What This Taught Me About Being a Better Parent
- Kids don’t need perfect parents.
- They need regulated adults.
- Losing control happens.
- Repairing the relationship matters more.
I failed that day.
But I also learned.
And next time, I’ll do better.
Because parenting isn’t about never messing up.
It’s about not repeating the same mistake twice.
🧡 Final thought:
If you’ve ever yelled, lost patience, or felt ashamed afterward, you’re not alone.
Pause. Repair. Try again.
That’s real parenting.
Privacy & Image Disclaimer
To protect our family’s privacy, all images on this blog are real-life moments, visually transformed into cartoon-style illustrations using AI. The stories are real. The emotions are real. The people are real. The art style is simply our way of keeping intimacy safe.
